Book Review of 25 Lies Twentysomethings Need to Stop Believing

Recently, I stumbled upon this book and the title caught my eye. See, I have been thinking about the many things I have learned the past few years, that I wish I knew when I was in my 20’s. How much easier would those years have been if I had all this stuff figured out 8-10 years earlier! So when I saw the title promising 25 Lies Twentysomethings Need to Stop Believing, I knew I needed to check it out!

Join me for a book review of 25 Lies Twentysomethings Need to Stop Believing!

Inside, the contents dive straight in to address many of the struggles I hear from my 20 and 30-year-old friends. Chapters titled “Success just happens”, “I’m not good enough”, “It needs to be perfect” and “What if it doesn’t work out?” speak out the fears and anxieties that constantly reside in the back of most Millennials minds these days.  It was published in March of 2021 and is very relevant to the world we are currently living in. 

I am not going to re-hash the entire book. I would recommend that you take the time to read it yourself. It is an easy read, each chapter can stand on its own and addresses a specific lie. At the end of each chapter is a section titled “Next Steps” that offers a few exercises you can do or ideas to ponder to encourage you to dive deeper into how the specific lie appears in your life. 

There were a few common themes throughout the book that I do want to look closer at. These all tie in closely with the themes and topics I write about on Kaybee Lives. 

What role does Social Media play in your life?

Social Media use and its effects is a frequent topic that comes up in many of the lies that the author lists. The jealousy, comparison, and feelings of inadequacy seeing other people’s “perfect” lives displayed on their social media accounts directly affect the thoughts that are constantly running through our minds.

The effects of this appear in our life in the form of anxiety, depression, and feeling like you are not good enough. Often people are resilient enough to withstand and counteract these feelings occurring occasionally. However, when people are spending multiple hours a day on social media platforms, feeling like such a failure or that you are not good enough, your mind is unable to counteract the magnitude of these feelings. Eventually, these feelings start to feel like the truth. 

I would recommend that everyone frequently evaluates the amount of time spent on social media and how that time is affecting their thoughts and self-image. If you are not sure about how to check in with yourself, ask a friend about it and see if you both can have a discussion.

Often some good insights will come out of those discussions for both people. You don’t necessarily need to delete all social media accounts. There are some benefits to them. Just take some time for an objective look at the role they play in your life and evaluate if you are ok with that role.

Now I feel hopeless. I have 25 lies that I need to fight in my life…. What should I do? 

First, pause and take a couple of deep breaths. Remember that life is a marathon and not a sprint. If all (or most) of these lies resonated with you after reading the book then there is some work to be done in your life, but you do not need to do it all right now. 

Start by writing down the lies that resonated with you specifically. From that list, narrow it down to the top three that you want to start with. Review those three and pick the top one that means the most to you. On the list, or in your journal, write down the reason why these three are so impactful to your life. Why do you want to start addressing and reversing these lies in your life? You don’t need to do all this immediately. Take a day or two and let it marinate in your mind while you think through your values and priorities. 

Now that you have the top three lies and your personal why start tackling the root of those lies. Begin with the “next steps” section at the end of those three chapters. Pick one or two of those exercises he offers and take intentional time to work through them. Don’t be afraid to dive deeper into a specific topic that you identified as meaningful. Look for specific resources like podcasts, books, or blog posts that address the root of your top 3 lies. All of these lies are incredibly common and many resources are available out there to help you work through them.

Change takes time. Don’t be discouraged.

Many of these lies have been floating around in our minds for years, so it is completely understandable that it will take intentional work to remove the lie and replace it with the truth.  When you feel overwhelmed with all of this change, take some time to give yourself some self-care!

Amplify the “Truth-Teller” voice and muffle the “Liar” voice in your life. 

The title of the second chapter caught my attention immediately Lie #2- I’m an incapable human being who is incapable of doing things that most capable people can do….aka I suck.

I can’t tell you the number of times this exact same sentence rolled through my mind over the past decade. In this chapter, he introduces the idea of the Liar and the Truth-Teller. The Liar’s one goal is to make you believe that you don’t have what it takes. The Truth-Teller’s goal is to help you have an unbiased view of the situation and your role in it. 

The author gives several examples of how these two voices show up in your life. See if any of these resonate with you?

• “The Liar wants you to waste time. The Truth-Teller wants you to invest your time wisely.”
• “The Liar wants you to see other people’s snapshots of success and be jealous. The Truth-Teller wants to applaud your friend’s success and let it inspire you to keep taking chances.”
• “The Liar wants you to pay attention only to the voices of other liars. The Truth-Teller wants you to listen to the wise.”
• “The Liar wants you to treat hope as a feeling. The Truth-Teller wants you to treat hope as a fact.”
• “The Liar wants to paint you as a failure. The Truth-Teller wants to give you the grace to fail without calling yourself a failure.”

Those are pretty powerful statements. One thing that I realized about the Truth-Teller is that voice will not always tell you nice things. It is sharing truth, which can be painful at times. However, the Truth-Teller voice will state the situation in a more factual, action-based way. Failing at something is an action. It does not make you a failure. It is still incredibly difficult to hear “you failed” at something, but that is much less damaging to your internal thought life than the Liar voice calling you a failure.

The Liar’s voice is persistent and difficult to fight. But the Truth-Teller voice is quietly powerful and can overcome the Liar. It takes determination and consistency to counteract the Liar’s voice with the Truth-Teller’s voice. If you do it enough, over and over again, the Liar’s voice becomes faint and the Truth-Teller’s voice becomes your own. 

Trust me, it is worth it. 

There was so much relatable information packed into this book that it is hard to just pick out a few pieces. I would highly recommend that you read it if there are areas of your life you are struggling with. My local library had it available, so check in with yours (I love libraries!). If you have read this book, I would love to hear what resonated with you! Share a comment on this post below or join the convo over on our Instagram post.