How to create margin in your life

It’s the start of your day and it is already not going well. Traffic was bad so you were late to work, which pushed over the domino of meetings for the day. Looks like no lunch today, and staying late at work will mean you don’t get your evening activities done. What if you had some space in your day that could absorb some of these unscheduled hiccups? Let’s chat about how to create margin in your life. 

It seems like the pace of the world these days is leading to overwhelmed, burned-out, exhausted women. We are trying to do it all and be there for everyone else in our lives. 

How often do we forget to be there for ourselves first?

The only way you can be there for others is if you are taking care of yourself and have the capacity to give to others. This is where knowing how to create margin in your life can be a critical tool in your life. 

If you are feeling overwhelmed, pause and take a deep breath. This will be ok. You will make it through. Let’s take some time to figure out where you are at right now and where you want to go. Once we know those things, we can come up with a plan to get there. 

Evaluate where you are at. 

The first step is to figure out where you are at. Set aside some quiet time, break out a journal, or some way to write down your feelings. Let’s go through some questions and prompt that can help you to figure out where you are at. 

• Start with spending a few minutes just writing about how you feel. No judgment, no solutions. Just spew out those feelings that you have been dealing with recently 
• What areas of your life feel out of balance? 
• Can you identify what is causing the lack of balance? Is it one area of your life, or many contributing to the imbalance? 
• What do you feel is missing from your life currently? 

Dream about where you want to be

Take some time to dream about what you want your life to look like. This is the time to leave practicality aside. This is a dream where anything is possible, and it’s all yours.

• Write out a more or less list. What things in your life do you want more of and what things in your life do you want less of? 
• List out your priorities in your life and order them. 
• Draft your “ideal week” following Michael Hyatt’s strategy here. 

These ideal or dream life notes would be a good thing to save and revisit occasionally to make sure you are still on track to getting there. 

Plan on how you are going to get to the dream

Start writing down what steps you can take now to move towards that dream?

• Can you change your schedule to flow better?
• Plan in some free time to your schedule and fiercely protect it. 
• What can you say no to?
• Are there things you can delegate or ask someone for help with? 
• Can you outsource any chores at home, either to another family member/roommate or by hiring a house cleaner or yard person?
• What other items from the “Evaluate step” do you need to change to create margin in your life?
• Are there any large life changes you need to make like looking for a different job or stepping away from a volunteer position? 
• What are some life-giving or positive activities that I can add to my life to encourage me? Add those into your schedule to replace things that drain you. Maybe you replace a volunteer-related meeting with dinner with a friend.  

Start

• Share what you learned through this process and your plan with one or two people closest to you in your life. Ask for their support and help with staying on track. 
• Pick three things from your plan that you can immediately implement. I highly recommend starting with the following two: 
  • Saying no to one activity or person on your calendar for next week and blocking off that time for rest/self-care.
  • Blocking 15 minutes of margin in between your meetings starting immediately.
• Revisit your journaling and your plan. It is ok if the plan isn’t an immediate success. Make small changes ask people in your life for suggestions if things are not working, and try new things.  

A few small practical tips that can have a big impact on your daily life with minimal effort:

1. Schedule a buffer between meetings and appointments. Even 15 minutes will help if something runs off track. If you end up having the 15 minutes as free time, use it to rest for a moment,  to catch up on email, or do another quick task. 
2. Automate as many busy-work-type tasks as you can. Bill pay, client tracking, scheduling, etc. Take away the hands-on, decision-making, part of the repetitive actions. 
3. Plan some simple meals for the week, including leftovers, so you are not spending much time on cooking and meal planning. Go-To meals are a great strategy for times like this. 
4. Limit social media at this time. Social media feels like a break or distraction, but it is an energy and time suck. When you are done scrolling, you usually do not feel better. Instead, have a conversion with someone, walk around the block, or go to bed early. Do something positive that will give positive energy. 
5. Add in a few small self-care ideas that will help you to rest and take care of yourself. Here are 75 ideas, but you could start with some small ones like 5 minutes of stretching in the morning, using your favorite scented lotion after your shower, or lighting your favorite candle to enjoy at home in the evening.

Loss of margin happens slowly and can be sneaky. Once it is gone, you will be battling feelings of exhaustion and burnout which indicates it is time to take intentional and strategic action to get yourself back on track. These steps are not a one-time fix it. You will need to revisit them to continue to create margin in your life.

You have to be aware of the battle between living life and maintaining margin so you are able to fight to keep the margin in your life when needed. Remember, resetting your margins will not happen overnight. It is a process and will take consistent effort for a while.  

Be kind to yourself as you work through this process. If you fall off track, pause and figure out the steps to get yourself back on track. No need to beat yourself up, or quit the process. 

Having a life with margin is worth it, and you are worth it.