Let’s face it, we all have had times when our self-care goes out the window. Things are crazy at work, with family life, or during the holidays, and taking a moment for ourselves just seems impossible. This is the post you need to come back to when you are in the midst of the crazy, so make sure to bookmark it! Today we are looking at why self-care is hard sometimes and I will give you some great tips on how to respond in those times.
Why self-care is hard sometimes.
Why self-care is hard sometimes.Effort
Self-care takes intentional effort to do something kind and beneficial for yourself. When you are depleted, at the end of your rope, and scrambling to do 8 things for 8 different people, it feels like adding one more task or activity will be the final straw.
Negativity bias
There is a negativity bias that our subconscious tends to gravitate towards. Negativity bias means that because we have knowledge and awareness that self-care is good for us, we assume that it is easy to complete. Don’t assume, be intentional! This skewed perspective can derail our best intentions. Thinking realistically about self-care can help you choose the best self-care strategies for you.
We put others ahead of ourselves
Often, we (especially women) place a higher value on taking care of others, and less of a value on taking care of ourselves. This could be an entire post itself, but in reality, that is not correct. This is the same theory as the idea of putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others with their masks. You are going to be useless to help another person if you pass out from a lack of oxygen. So make sure you are taken care of so you can take care of others.
Shame
There is so much shame and guilt tied to self-care. For most of us, self-care is not lazing our days away in the spa, getting pampered, and neglecting everything at home. There is no shame in taking a few minutes to do something that makes you feel better and more capable of managing the rest of the day. Self-care is not selfish! It is key to allowing us to be the best versions of ourselves that we can be.
All of these barriers keep us from practicing regular self-care, especially during times when you are the busiest and need self-care the most!
Tips to make self-care easier in the hard times
Adjust your expectations
Self-care doesn’t have to be a big drawn-out process. In fact, there are several 1 minute and 5 minute self-care ideas that can have a huge impact on your day.
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Have your go-to ideas ready
Make a menu of your favorite self-care activities that you have easily accessible. Sometimes, picking the self-care activity is more than I can handle, so having some ready that I don’t have to make one more decision about, is a game-changer for me. Here is a great process you can go through to develop your own personalized self-care menu!
Identify your feelings or emotions
Take a moment and check in with yourself about how you are feeling and what emotion may be holding you back from embracing self-care. If you are feeling really down or negative about yourself or your self-worth, it is understandable why you wouldn’t want to put any effort into doing something kind for yourself. Putting a name on an emotion or feeling can help take away some of its power so you can get back to being the best you!
Remind yourself that you are important too
You are important to the people in your life. Repeat that to yourself so you really believe it! You being the best version of yourself is important to yourself as well. Self-care will help keep you being the best version of yourself and allow you to show off all the amazingness that is you!
Just do one thing
Often, if doing self-care seems too big or too much, just doing one thing or one part of your self-care activity can get you jump-started. If doing an entire yoga routine feels like too much, then just do your favorite pose. I find that if I don’t feel like doing yoga, just laying down on the floor for a while, yoga will happen.
Pitch perfection
Self-care is the opposite of perfection. Imperfect self-care still leaves a lasting impact on your mind and body. Don’t think you need to do a 90-minute yin yoga class to relax. Just start with one pose, or squeeze 20 minutes into your free time, with an extra 10 minutes of Shavasana to really relax and let out all of the stress you have been holding in.
Automate it
Sign up for an automatic self-care focused email that is delivered directly to your inbox each Sunday! Sound intriguing? You can check out recent emails and sign up here! It takes the planning and work out of the way and allows you to focus just on self-care.
There is no solution to magically make self-care easier but by identifying your most common hangups or barriers to self-care you can intentionally take some steps to practice self-care even when it feels impossible.
I would love to hear from you! What is your best tip to practice self-care even when it feels hard? Has there been anything you have tried that worked spectacularly well? I would love for you to share it in the comments below so we can try it out too!
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